Isolating Oneself during a Pandemic: A Very Old Concept

We are living in unusual times - trying to adapt to life in a global pandemic. But there have been epidemics before! 

Suddenly I'm curious in knowing... How did people manage?

Reading a book entitled Sacred Spaces (published in 2013 - long before the current pandemic), I came across a reference to the 1665 epidemic in Britain. At that time, in the region of Britain where the author Margaret Silf lives - Derbyshire - people were dying in large numbers from the bubonic plague.

She writes: In a communal act of selflessness the villagers [in one village] agreed to isolate themselves, in an effort to protect the neighboring settlements from contagion. They marked out their isolation perimeter by a circle of boundary stones, one of which was also a well. People from the surrounding area brought food, medication and news to these boundary markers to be collected by the stricken villagers...

She goes on to explain that the well became a symbol of those difficult times. After the plague was over, people began a tradition of decorating the well with flowers, a tradition that continues to this day.

I find it interesting that, in spite of one village's isolation, water - the well - was shared... It was on the border where it could be accessed by both sides... Also that people in the healthy villages left food and other essentials at the boundary for those in the stricken village. In other words, they cared for each other...

Reading this, I'm surprised that some things haven't changed: 350 years ago, people may not have known what caused the plague, but they knew the power of self-isolation to protect others.

The Secret to Happiness Is...

My mother, who always valued her independence, is now blind and unable to walk.

But she is usually content - except when she is in pain.

She has nothing but praise for the nursing home staff. And she praises the food...

Here she is, second from the right, participating in an exercise class.







Seeing my mother enjoy her limited life makes me wonder: What is it that makes us happy?

I recently read that "Happiness is reality divided by expectations." One study showed that people who lived on ventilators ranked their happiness at 5.1 on a scale of 7, whereas people breathing on their own ranked theirs at 5.5. (From the book, Leaving Church, chapter 10)

A recent Maclean's magazine article claims that the secret to happiness is to stop trying to be happy!

The article provided an interesting "happiness equation":

Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything 

Is the key here to "want nothing"?

Does want mean to covet nothing, or to lack nothing? Or does it simply mean that you really appreciate all that you have because there is nothing more that you want?

By that equation, my mother, who lacks neither food nor care and still manages to keep busy (doing anything) feels she has everything... and is thankful!

The Power of ... Disappointment

Most of us want to shield those we love from disappointment. But disappointment is not necessarily bad. It has the power to move us to do things we would never have dreamed possible! (But first we have to be really, really unhappy!!)

I think of my 18-year-old self, so miserable during my first year of university in Vancouver. I hated the rainy, grey campus. My classes left me uninspired: none led to work I wanted. I knew I had to change my life course, which I did, moving away for a year's study abroad... which stretched into ten happy, life-altering years.

Don't be afraid to want something, Joan Chittister writes in Aspects of the Heart: The Many Paths to a Good Life. Wanting is a precious part of being human.

Then she adds: Dampened expectations are the beginning of a healthy journey to new ideas, new interests, new events.

Even disappointment can be a good thing!

The Power of a Name

I recently acquired this old copy of the novel, Gone With the Wind. I remember reading it in my teen years - and seeing the movie. I'd like to re-read it now - with my new interest in history - to get a sense of the American Civil War era.

It's hard to believe that, when it was being written, Margaret Mitchell called her heroine Pansy O'Hara (not Scarlett O'Hara).









And she wasn't sure what the title should be...

• Bugles Sang True
• Not in Our Stars
• Tote the Weary Load, or
• Tomorrow is Another Day

(I wonder - would the book have been such a hit with any of those titles?! Would the name "Pansy" now be a popular girls' name - had they not changed the heroine's name to Scarlett?!)

Walking... and Talking

When my kids were younger, if I asked: What did you do at school today? 
They'd invariably shrug and answer: Nothing.

But if we went for a walk, all kinds of stories would come bubbling out! (I soon concluded that the only way to discover what was happening in my children's world was to take walks with them!) I often wondered why that was...

Recently I read something that reminded me of those evening walks...

While walking Spain's 800 kilometer Camino de Santiago with hundreds of others, Jane Christmas often found herself walking with different people. In her book about it she comments: "Walking releases two things: endorphins and conversation. It is exercise and therapy rolled into one. Words, thoughts, and ideas bubble up from the depth of your soul. There is something about walking and talking side by side that makes conversations more candid than they would be face-to-face. What you have to say isn't influenced by your walking partner's facial reaction."

I never considered the aspect of facial reactions - but walking definitely does churn up thoughts and ideas!

The Power of Suggestion

My youngest son, when he was four or five, loved to watch Bugs Bunny on TV. Whenever the cartoon came on, he would rush into the kitchen and ask for a carrot. Then he'd sit there watching Bugs and his antics - happily munching the carrot. (In fact, it came to the point that whenever I wanted him to eat a healthy snack, I'd turn on the cartoon!)

Was it the sight of Bugs, carrot in hand, that brought on his sudden carrot craving? I suspect it was!

I've had a similar experience the past few weeks. Reading Jane Christmas's book about her misadventures on a four-week 800-kilometer walk in Spain doing the Camino de Santiago, I have been transported there - in imagination! As I read the detailed struggles of her daily 20 (or more) kilometer walk, I've suddenly had the urge to walk several miles a day, too. If they can do it, perhaps I can, too!

I hope this walking urge keeps up! If not, I'll have re-read the book - or find another about a long-distance trek. Apparently the power of suggestions works on me, too!

The Power of Appreciation

St. Benedict was very hard on grumblers. In his rule for community living, he wrote:

First and foremost, there must be no word or sign of the evil of grumbling, no manifestation of it for any reason at all.

I think I know why: Complaining can bring us down. We begin feeling sorry for ourselves... and nothing improves! Morale definitely takes a nosedive. (Though - paradoxically - it's sometimes good to share!)

Appreciation, on the other hand, encourages and strengthens us! I remember learning that lesson when my daughter was two or three and going through the frustrating stage of not wanting to go to bed. Bedtime would come. We would go through our whole bedtime routine: I would read her a story and tuck her in. Then - the moment I would be looking for - a few minutes of peace and quiet to put my feet up and relax. Just as I would sit down, there she would be, standing at the door: I need a drink of water. I can't sleep.

And the whole bedtime routine would have to begin again! After four or five reruns of this scenario, I would be at the end of my rope!

Fortunately, I had a neighbor with a daughter the same age. When I mentioned how frustrating bedtimes had become, she replied: Yes, sometimes when my daughter finally falls asleep, I'm so tired and angry that I have to sit down and force myself to think about all her good qualities - so that I don't go to bed mad at her - and wake up still mad at her the next morning!

Force myself to think about the good... a powerful strategy that restores a calm sense of perspective to any trying situation.

Finding Inspiration

I once read that a student's study space should be inspirational. There should be a "good feeling" about it - one that bolsters confidence. The book suggested surrounding the desk with inspirational quotes, pictures of favorite things and people, as well as awards and other reminders of past success.

At the time, I was teaching.














The desk in my study (where I could close the door and not hear the TV) was my haven where I spent evenings preparing lessons and grading papers. It definitely needed to become a "feel good" place... After a full day's work, who wants to spend evenings at a desk?


















My metal filing cabinet became my magnetic "bulletin board" for pictures and inspirational quotes.


















Here is a paper I've had up for so many years that the writing is faded. One of the quotes on it was by Emerson: Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

I don't remember what fear led me to that quote! But I read it time and time again. Another helped me step back and gain perspective on my busy life:

Go forth into the world in peace.
Be of good courage.
Render no man evil for evil.
Strengthen the faint-hearted.
Support the weak.
Help the afflicted.
Honor all men.
Love and serve the Lord your God,
Rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit.

When you're busy, perspective is what you really need!

A Thought to Share...

From a poster in a Montreal coffee shop...


















WHERE HOPE GROWS

MIRACLES BLOSSOM

(It reminds me of another thought on hope - one I tried to practice as a teacher.)

The Power of ... Gratitude

Not long ago, I read a review of a book by Debbie Macomber entitled One Simple Act: Discovering the Power of Generosity.














Intrigued, I ordered the book online.

In the first chapter, Debbie mentions the Quaker practice of keeping gratitude journals - daily writing lists of things they were grateful for. After reading about it, she herself started to do the same thing, in a little notebook she nicknamed her "Ode to Joy."

She later came across some some astonishing scientific findings about the power of being grateful...

• Researchers at the University of California and the University of Miami discovered that "people who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer illness symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded troubles or neutral life events...

• ... participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress over a two-month period toward their most important personal goals - academic, interpersonal, and health based - compared to ... their control group..."

She also mentions that a professor of bioethics observed five positive results of being grateful:

1. "...Just fifteen minutes a day focusing on the things you're grateful for will significantly increase your body's natural antibodies."

2. "...grateful people are more focused mentally and ... less vulnerable to clinical depression."

3. "... healthier blood pressure and heart rate..."

4. "...grateful caregivers are healthier..."

5. "Recipients of donated organs who have the most grateful attitudes heal faster."














Hmmmm... Maybe I should give it a try, too!

"Think Happy Thoughts!"

A friend - who takes weekly ballet classes for fitness and fun - recounted how her ballet instructor once told the class, Think happy thoughts when you do the steps... You'll do them better...

So instead of thinking - This is hard! Am I doing it right?! - she focused on thinking happy thoughts: I can do it! I can do it!

Only the teacher knows if the class improved by thinking happy thoughts - but my friend confessed that having a positive attitude made the challenge more fun!














Potted plants and flowers fill my mind with happy thoughts in winter... So my house is full of them. And my outdoor flower garden gives me joy in summer!

Joy is infections - smiles encourage - laughter relaxes - enthusiasm gives strength!

We all need enthusiasm to help us succeed.

On a recent trip to Toronto, I met a young woman who had recently opened a flower shop.

Is this really a good time to open a flower shop? I wondered. In hard economic times, do people really spend money on luxuries like flowers?

But she was succeeding... Her joy and enthusiasm were evident as she showed us the small vintage bottles and mason jars she used as vases. She loved the fact that she was able to sell reasonably-priced bouquets and re-cycle lovely old bottles and jars at the same time.

In fact, without any advertising (apart from her blog), she had generated enough business to keep going.

As we left her shop, I turned to my daughter... She loves what she does! I think that's one reason why customers keep coming back... Her flowers are lovely... but they also buy a little piece of her joy!

The Power of TEN

TEN has been a motivating force for me as long as I can remember HAVING TO DO things. When (as a child) my mother used to give me the clean-up ultimatum - You can't go out to play until your bed is made and your room is tidied! - (after the initial disappointment of realizing that I will probably never see my friends again, as it will take me 100 years to clean up my room!) I used to motivate myself by telling myself: Okay, just do 10 things! Put away 10 things.

Counting them down gave me a sense of accomplishment - and often made a difference in the way my room looked. Sometimes, TEN things made such a difference that my mother let me go! At other times, I got so caught up in my little game of TEN that I just kept working...

As a student, having to read a less-than-interesting text, I'd say: Just read 10 pages...

As a teacher faced with a pile of assignments to mark, I'd tell myself: Just do TEN now and TEN after supper and TEN in the morning...!

And I must confess that at times I still play that game with myself... When tidying off my desk looks like a daunting task, I sometimes tell myself: Just put away 10 things today, and 10 tomorrow.

I know TEN will make a difference... and will eventually get it all done. So today, as I look around me at the many jobs around the house I could do, I think I'll aim to do just TEN!

My Favorite Part of a Book: the Preface

I usually read the preface before I tackle any book - books that have prefaces, that is. In the preface the author usually summarizes his or her main premise, which often gets lost in the actual writing. (I'm not sure why that is, though I have some theories... And I have concluded that many books I read should end about a hundred pages before they do... Or do I just have a short attention-span?!)

I recently bought an interesting new book - The Gift of Thanks by Margaret Visser, an author whom I admire. I found the preface fascinating! In it, she mentions that "German sociologist George Simmell claimed that gratitude is what ... holds ... society together," and she (Margaret Visser) would go so far as to say that "gratitude contributes to the spiritual well-being of every person, but especially of those who are thankful."

As a parent who derives great joy from hearing my children express appreciation for what they have, I felt that this book had a lot to offer. And it does. But for now, I'm a little bogged down in a discussion of why some cultures (like Japanese) would say "I'm sorry" when we (in English) would say "Thank you." And how in our culture and language (English) we say "Thank you" more than many other cultures.

But I'm plodding along, hoping to get to the meat of the matter in the near future - and by that I mean, why it is important for all of us to be grateful.

The Power of Appreciation

We all love to be appreciated... but some of us forget to take the next step and show appreciation for the people and events that fill our lives, enriching us day by day. I know I tend to focus on the empty half of the glass half-FULL. (That's why I'm THANKFUL for a husband who reminds me to BE THANKFUL!)

There is power in appreciation - given, received or shared. Appreciation lifts our spirits - which is probably why a blog written by a 29-year-old Toronto man has become so popular. I first read about it in the Ottawa Citizen, after it had won a Webby Award. Called 1000 Awesome Things, this blog attracts hundreds (if not thousands) of readers daily because it talks about the pleasure of ordinary things we often overlook. Yesterday's blog, for example, focused on the smell of Play-Doh!

Appreciation changes us - and has the power to change relationships. I know an older couple whose struggling marriage was totally turned around after they were challenged (by a Readers' Digest article!) to replace criticism with compliments. Before long, they were both living in the joy of being loved and appreciated by the person closest to them.

For me (their daughter) it was hard to comprehend the change I could see and feel whenever I visited them. Their love for each other, previously hidden by a litany of complaints, was now shining through.

Appreciation has the power to do that - and make the world a happier place!

The Power of Hope

"Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have "

This quote - from Life's Little Instruction Book (by H. Jackson Brown Jr.) - was an important motto for me as a teacher. We teachers constantly evaluate student performance. But our assessment should focus on strengths and areas for improvement. It should never take away the hope that students can eventually succeed, if they want to enough to put in the required effort.

I often think of words as seeds. When we talk or write, we are planting ideas. But we never know which idea-seeds will flourish. (The soil also needs to be receptive for them to grow.)














I remember once as a student being told that my writing was lacking. At the same time, the professor commented that this was inevitable when one spent the day switching between two languages. She added that her writing style had gotten worse over the years as well.

Although I initially took her comments to mean that I wasn't a good writer, she didn't really devoid me of hope. But I knew I would have to spend time improving my style and developing a writer's "voice" that I was happy with.

Whether we like it or not, comments of teachers, parents and friends plant seeds of hope (or sadness and despair).

And sometimes we really need hope. When my mother - at age 88 - was diagnosed with breast cancer, I didn't know what to think. So I called my aunt Zilla in Edmonton. I knew that one of her relatives had had breast cancer a few years before.

After answering my questions, my aunt suddenly blurted out: Tell your mother it isn't hopeless. My next-door neighbor had breast cancer 10 years ago, and she just celebrated her 100th birthday last week!

Now that was the kind of hope my mother and I needed to hear!

The Power of a Smile

When I picked up this morning's paper, and saw Barack Obama's smiling face, my immediate reaction was to smile back- whatever problems the US faces, he can handle it! I'm glad he's there! Those were my thoughts.














That's the power of a smile.

I recently cut out a newspaper article that stated that happiness is contagious.















I know that sadness is... which is why I avoid sad movies!

From experience at work, I know that positive, happy people are more fun to work with, than those who feel down.

I showed the happiness article to someone who works in customer service.

Boy, do I know that, he said. My job is easy to do well, and it's easy to mess up. It all depends on your attitude, your mood.

Not necessarily your circumstances.

I say that with one elderly gentleman in mind. In the years we attended the same church, he was always cheerful. He loved to talk about books, and to read. In World War II, as a young soldier, he'd been stationed in Egypt, so he loved to talk about travel.

Wasn't the music great today, he'd say after church. That organist really is wonderful with the children. She's so encouraging! This is such a great group of people! So supportive. Just a wonderful place to be.

You only noticed his hearing aid when he'd turn it up or down, depending on who he was talking to. The only time he ever mentioned his health to me was one day when he said: Those doctors are so amazing these days. The things they can do... and he proceeded to tell me what they had done to him that week! To him it was all so fascinating.

In his place, I'd have been complaining about my aches and pains and how much harder life is when you're not well.

So when I didn't see him at church a few weeks ago, I kept looking around, wanting to talk to him. His wife sat down beside me and said, Did you know that Bill passed away a few weeks ago. He had cancer, you know.

That's another thing about happy people - they are really missed when they are gone.