Interesting Thought

I've had a hard time, this past winter, finding books that really interest me. I came across this one, by Bonnie Thurston, a contemporary poet and theologian, in the library.

In an early chapter, Bonnie Thurston quotes Samuel Johnson - whom I remember studying about in my English literature courses at university...  

Johnson was most known for writing an English dictionary. He is also credited with inspiring many poets of his day, who were his friends.

In 1750, he wrote: "we are all prompted by the same motives, all deceived by the same fallacies, all animated by hope, obstructed by danger, entangled by desire, and seduced by pleasure."

"ALL DECEIVED BY THE SAME FALLACIES" caught my eye...

If it's true - and every generation looks back at the "strange" ideas of their parents and grandparents - what fallacies am I deceived by?! 

I'll probably never know!

Interesting Realization

For a long time now I've enjoyed exercises in stream of consciousness writing. The practice was suggested by two writing teachers I admire - Natalie Goldberg (Writing Down the Bones) and Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way). 

I recently started a new series of personal reflections - using this prayer journal as a take-off point.

Each chapter started with a Bible verse to reflect on in stream of consciousness writing. I was enjoying it...

... until this verse came along...

I'll skip it, I told myself after reading it... and moved on. 

This happened several times... What don't I like about this verse? I wondered.

Then it struck me! 

I was never encouraged to be gentle and quiet in my whole life! There was no "Children should be seen but not heard" in our family.

Instead, my parents encouraged my brother and me to speak out and give our opinions. Family is a democracy, my father would say.

It wasn't really - not when parents hold the purse strings. But, looking back, I'm really thankful my parents were always interested in hearing our points of view. It taught me to think for myself - and to be assertive. 

(Which is why I have never ever in my life wished for a gentle and quiet spirit!... I guess that's a confession!)

Room to Write

I always wanted to be a writer… For years I kept journals - but I never wrote the novels I hoped to write when I was young.

When my children were adolescents, I began to carve out a bit of space for myself in my schedule. A few night school courses in quilting followed… Also correspondence courses in writing…

Eventually I developed the habit of simply buying books to “teach myself.”

I recently came across a notebook I used with one book I was reading - a book called “Room to Write”… I have almost no recollections of doing the exercises in the book. But I did some of them - and I’m currently re-reading what I wrote back in 1998 and 2000 - as I fill in the empty pages in my notebook.

It’s so interesting to jump back all those years as I read the stories and exercises assigned by the book… So interesting, in fact, that I recommend - for anyone keeping a diary or journal - to leave a few blank pages here and there - to write in later. 

Re-reading what I wrote is more than a trip down memory lane… It’s interesting to see how LITTLE (about me and my life) has really changed! Twenty years ago, I was dealing with clutter on my desk - and, even then, it annoyed me that I couldn’t remember what I had eaten - or done - the previous day!

Pretty Journal

I keep journals of various kinds, so I'm always on the lookout for pretty books to write in...

I picked this one up a few years ago. I must have been attracted to the pretty flowers on the cover...

And the quotes by woman authors...

Some are fun - like this one by American writer, Mary Little, who was about my father's age. She wrote:

"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it!"

(To me, that about sums up retirement!)

My Mother's Daily Logs

During her retirement from teaching, my mother used to keep a daily log of how she (and my father) spent their day...

Were these logs a memory aid to help her remember what she had done? Did re-reading them help her remember?

Hmmm... I know I often can't remember... Maybe I need to start keeping a log!

Or were her notes a continuation of her teaching practice of keeping a daily written log of what she planned to do in class every day - and how much of that was actually accomplished?

As I sit here thinking about keeping a daily log, I wonder - would it "spark joy" in remembering - or give me a satisfied feeling that I didn't waste my time?!

My "Courage Teachers"

I came across an interesting comment in a foreword to Brenda Ueland's book, If  You Want to Write.

Andrei Codrescu writes that, as a writing instructor: Brenda Ueland is one of those beings Allen Ginsburg calls "Courage Teachers" ... There is no higher teacher. Brenda Ueland is a believer, and her faith is contagious. The thing that she believes in is ... the power that comes from paying complete attention to one's circumstances... It's simple, but still secret, because it takes Courage.

I like the term, Courage Teacher - not necessarily for the reason Codrescu states - but because excellent teachers always empower their students to believe in themselves, whether they are learning to write, paint... or whatever.

The term Courage Teacher brought to mind those writing instructors I have never personally met, but whose books gave me courage to persevere in writing...

First, Natalie Goldberg in all her writing books, notably Writing Down the Bones.

Later, Anne Lamott in her book on writing entitled, Bird by Bird...

And of course, the wonderfully empowering book by Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way.

These three women have been "courage teachers" to me.

Lost!

About a month ago - when I received my first Christmas card of the season - I pulled out my cards to send them to friends. It was then that I discovered that my address book was missing!

I hunted for it  - but only found several old ones... that date back 20 years and more.

I also found an unused one... Time to add addresses from cards I receive in the mail this year...

I managed to send a few Christmas cards - to relatives and friends who hadn't moved in the last 20 years (whose addresses were still in my old books, above). I started to add addresses to the new book...

But I kept wondering about the book I had lost.

When I tried to remember the last time I had used the book, it occurred to me that I'd had it in Montreal on our last trip there.

Terry checked the glove box and the back seat - and, sure enough, it was in one of the pockets in the back seat!

(But by then, it was too late to send out Christmas wishes!)

Why I Write...

I've been a fan of writer Anne Lamott for many years.

I particularly enjoy reading her memoirs and her spiritual musings. But her book on writing entitled Bird by Bird is amazing, too.

I recently signed up to receive her "Instagram" posts. Here is one I read recently. It may be a quote from her latest book, which I recently read... though I don't remember reading this. I like it because I think it perfectly describes why I blog. It's not too clear in my photo - so here's what it says:

"You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging at the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs - your truth, your version of things - in your own voice.That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born."

Another Writer Whose Books I Enjoy... Is Gone

In late October 2014, I headed to Toronto to attend a weekend workshop with a writing "heroine" of mine - a woman who had compiled ancient and modern prayers, readings and hymns into a number of volumes for daily personal prayer throughout the year. Entitled "The Divine Hours," they offer a glimpse into Christian thought throughout the ages. I purchased four volumes of these prayers and have used them for years.

At the conference I would have liked to ask her how she came to compile these prayer books, but she was there to talk about her latest passion: trying to understand how western Christianity is changing... This she termed "emergence" Christianity.

I purchased several of her books, intending to read them later... (They are still sitting on my reading pile, unread!)

At the end of the conference, she announced that she was planning no more speaking engagements, but, instead, was planning to return home and write.

I wonder if a new book is now out? I wondered, as I googled her name: Phyllis Tickle. 

It was then that I discovered that - 11 months after that conference - she died of lung cancer, at the age of 81, eight months after her husband died.

After reading her obituary, I would have another question for her... She had worked as a teacher, writer, and editor, at a time when few women had jobs outside the home. How had she managed to accomplish so much... and raise a family of seven children at the same time?!!

Writing Tip

I recently came across this writing tip from Stephen King...

I had to tear it out!

I've never read any of his horror novels, but I did love (and find amusing) his book on writing, aptly called On Writing.

King is actually pretty funny. He could probably have been a comedy writer - or maybe he is, under a different name!

Meeting Favorite Writers

When I find an author I enjoy, I try to read all the books that he or she has written - preferably in chronological order. Favorite authors over the years have included Catherine Marshall, Richard Foster, Malcolm Muggeridge, Laurie Beth Jones, Anne Lamott, Esther de Waal, and Kathleen Norris.

Sometimes I am fortunate enough to meet these favorite authors or hear them speak. I met Esther de Waal at a Canterbury, England conference in 2013 and Kathleen Norris at a workshop in Toronto around the same time. I heard Malcolm Muggeridge speak in Toronto when I lived there in the 1970s. I never met Catherine Marshall, whose books meant a lot to me, but I did meet one of her good friends, writer Elizabeth Sherrill, whose books have also been an important part of my life.

(I just googled Anne Lamott - and discovered that she had a speaking engagement in Toronto two months ago. Wish I had known!)

In the past year, I have discovered the books of Barbara Brown Taylor - who is now one of my favorite authors. I've collected quite a few of her books and am making my way through them all. I recently discovered that she is one of the weekly chaplains scheduled to speak at the Chautauqua Institute this year, in Chautauqua, NY. It's a day's drive away... Not that far. So I'm hoping Terry will agree to go.

I Can Be Wrong...!

A few days ago, I was ranting about spelling errors I had been seeing on signs around me. (The words that set me off on my rant were "cookwear" - instead of cookware - and "cassels" - instead of castles.)

My neighbor, Mary, responded in an email...

Marlene,

I couldn't resist.  The word "Cassels" is a play on the owners name, Charles Assels.

It is not actually a misspelling.  

(My goodness, she's right!)

A Prayer of Thanks

I recently attended a workshop on appreciating and writing personal "psalms" - poetic prayer songs to God. I'm no poet, but I do love to read (and sing) the psalms of the Bible. (They are so honest!)














Our assignment: To create a personal list of things for which we are thankful - adding a comment about each item on the list. So here is my prayer of thanks, written as 17 of us sat in a sacred circle - all composing, then sharing, our personal thanks to God!

Loving, surprising Father-God,

I thank You for the dreams You put in my heart -
They've taken me farther than I ever expected to go.

I thank You for the family You've given me -
They've stretched me more than I ever wanted to be stretched.

I thank You for allowing me to Live the Dream -
The grade-five dream of a house among trees,
And a life of writing... not stories, but blogs.

I thank You for pulling me back to this writing dream -
Again and again -
I have so much to learn!

This is all part of Your Divine Plan:
Your leading has taken me farther than I ever expected to go!

Writing Psalms

Psalms are songs and prayers found in the Bible. Many were written by David, the musician-king of Israel who lived 3000 years ago. Given their ancient origin, I was surprised to see a workshop on creating psalms being offered at a nearby church... Intrigued, I decided to attend.


















The experience of writing poetic prayers, under the guidance of writing instructor Ray McGinnis, was a pure joy. Gone was the fear of being critiqued: Why worry about what others think? Our prayers, laments and praises are for God...














In one exercise, Ray gave us a list of phrases taken from Biblical psalms and asked us to incorporate as many (or as few) as we wanted in a prayer-poem. Those who wanted could later read it aloud in our "sacred circle." It was then I discovered the second blessing of writing prayers: listening to the prayer-poems of others.

On my way home, I thought of the expression: One hand clapping... Had we not opened up and shared, our sacred circle would have been as silent as "one hand clapping"... By overcoming our fears and reading our prayers aloud, our listeners could share with us, pray with us. Their smiles, nods (and occasional laughter) confirmed that they too had been blessed.

So in that spirit of sharing the blessing, here is a prayer I wrote at the workshop. (The italicized words are phrases taken from our instructor's list.)

O God,
You go before me wherever I go.
Because of You, I shall not be moved.

My bones grow weak whenever I reflect on my problems.
But You are there, so I stand on solid ground.
Scatter my worries like breadcrumbs.
Guard my life, I pray.

The doors of my faith are ancient doors that stand firm on hidden foundations.

In the morning, I come before you.
You meet me - not in flashes of lightning
But in secret peace - pleasure forever.

Comfort me: I am an owl among ruins,
a bird alone on a rooftop.

My bones grow weak;
Guard my life, I pray.

Writing - Or Speaking - About Faith

In his book, Now and Then: A Memoir of Vocation, writer and theologian Frederick Buechner has some interesting things to say about writing about faith. His comments also hold true, I think, when speaking about religious faith as well.

The first is to "listen to your life. All moments are key moments." I'm not sure what he means by key moments. Every moment leads to another... Are they all key? But personal stories have power nothing else can match. I used to tell my children bedtime stories about my childhood and my life, and even now sometimes they want to hear them. Nobody can dispute - or replicate - our experience. Someone once said - and I don't remember who - that the most valuable thing we have to share is our life story.

Buechner's second point concerns the words we use: "Words - especially religious words, words that have to do with the depth of things - get tired and stale the way people do. Find new words or put old words together in combinations that make them heard as new..."

And finally, "if you have to choose between words that mean more than what you experienced and words that mean less, choose the ones that mean less because that way you leave room for your hearers to move around in and for yourself to move around in too." Again I'm not sure what he means by "moving around in" the story. Perhaps creating a dialogue, perhaps leaving room for questions...

Being a writer, his main concern is words... I don't disagree that words are important. As humans, they are our main vehicle of communication. But, as I have written before, my experience teaching English to multicultural students has also taught me that words only take you so far.

An Audience... of One

"Success" for a blogger shouldn't be gauged by the number of readers or followers a blog has. A blog can have a tremendous impact - even if it is read by an audience of only one!

This comment - made by well-known blogger, Ann Voskamp, at a Christian Writers' Conference I attended recently - has given me lots of food for thought.

Most of us - bloggers included - see success in terms of LARGER numbers: MORE money earned, MORE friends (even facebook friends), MORE blog readers = MORE SUCCESS.

It is easy to forget that, a rock thrown into the pond spreads ripples farther than that rock will ever go. Likewise an action - or a blog comment - or a person experiencing the action or reflecting on that blog comment - will impact many.

It's a mystery of multiplication reflected in the Jewish proverb: He who saves a life saves the entire world.

Is it too much to say: He who influences one life, influences the entire world?

Blogging, of course, is only one way of impacting others, one small way at that. Everything we do - many things we say - touch those around us, and they, in turn, affect others, and so on... in this ever-changing process called LIFE!

Ingredients for a PERFECT Writers' Conference

What are the ingredients for a perfect writers' conference?














Amazing weather...














A relaxing venue...














Friendly people...all intent on becoming better writers!














Delicious food...














(The dining room kept calling us back!)














Thought-provoking talks...














The lady in red is an author (and home-schooling mother of six) who became known for her blog, A Holy Experience...














This - my fourth conference here in Guelph in the past 11 years was - for me - just PERFECT...














I went around, trying to capture the spirit of the event... and ended up taking pictures of...














FLOWERS!

Setting the Mood

Music sets the mood for more than romance. It can set the mood for sleep... One of my sons always falls asleep with music playing in the background. My husband drifts off most easily while watching TV. As sports announcers natter or comedians banter back and forth..., the music of their voices lulls him to sleep!

I love the sound of silence - whether I'm trying to fall asleep or focusing on reading or writing. Music and talking distract me, so I need absolute quiet, punctuated perhaps by the occasional chirping of birds... (to remind me I haven't gone deaf!) Silence helps me think. During my high school years, I used to go to my room (on the second floor, away from household noises) to do my homework. The one year I lived with hundreds of women in a university residence, I did my serious studying and writing after midnight, when the building finally fell silent.

But this doesn't work for everyone. Several of my children liked to do their homework while listening to music - they said it helped them block out random noises, helping them concentrate. I didn't stop them, since my brother did his high school homework at the coffee table during TV commercial breaks - and he graduated with good grades. In those days, before TVs were controlled remotely, he was able to "turn off" his attention and totally focus on his homework... until the program resumed. Later, while studying for his doctorate, he tried to work in the library. But it was too quiet! So he headed home. There, at the coffee table in the living room, while his two young sons played around him, he was able to write his doctoral thesis.

I was reminded of all this recently while attending a writers' workshop. The instructor, Ginger Kolbaba, (editor of the newsletter, Marriage Partnership and author of a number of books) mentioned that she listens to music when she writes - varying the music to match the mood of the story or article she is working on. The music sets the mood for her writing, heightening her emotions and influencing her writing style.

When she has a hard time making herself sit down and write, she also puts on music. The association between the music and the writing task draws her in...

Would that work for me - a lover of silence?!

I'm not sure! But I may try it for other tasks I often resist - like washing the dishes and cleaning the house...! (Do I need a house-cleaning theme song?! ... Perhaps the theme song from the movie Chariots of Fire? Or from one of my favorites, The Triplets of Belleville? ... Or will any music do?!)

Is It Truly True? (And Does It Really Matter?)

The lines between truth and fiction are often blurred. A lot of what passes for fiction is based on truth: real characters, real events, slightly changed - so that the writer won't be sued! Similarly, sometimes what passes for "truth" has been embellished. Or important parts have been omitted, creating an entirely different scenario...

Why am I thinking about this?

Because I enjoy reading books where authors share their lives (not unlike many bloggers do these days). Accompanying a writer along his or her path in life is an adventure and a privilege - and I (the reader) am enriched by what I learn...

Recently I began to re-read a book I loved the first time I read it, a number of years ago. It seemed particularly pertinent to what I am going through at this stage of life, so I started to read it again. It's the account of a woman dealing with her mother's final illness and death. Not that my mother is ill or dying - but I (like the writer) find myself sad at times, wishing I could hold back the ravages of time.

There is so much universal truth in the plight of the angry, aging mother - and the daughter trying to help her. Like me, the daughter can remember her mother's younger years, and mourns the difference between then and now.

The story was written a while ago, so I make the mistake (perhaps) of going to the internet and researching the author and her family. What has happened to them since the book was published in the 1980s? I knew the author and her husband had died - after her husband's death , she wrote another "journal" about their life together. But what about the other members of the family who make cameo appearances throughout the story? What has happened to them?

The internet is an amazing research tool! I discovered - among other things - that family members confided to a journalist that much that had been written in their mother's published "journals" was simply not true. The books paint a different story than they remember experiencing, and the relationships between the characters (real people - children, grandchildren, husband, friends) were not exactly as portrayed.

Had the author viewed her life - and the people in it - through "rose-colored glasses"? Or had she glossed over the truth (and details such as alcoholism and infidelity) for the sake of telling a story?

My first reaction to this controversy was profound sadness - sadness that some of the people in the story had felt misrepresented, according to the journalist who wrote the article.

(But then - I ask myself - did she embellish their words to make headlines, too?! Is that part of the art of storytelling ...and journalism?)

Also I felt shock and disbelief - I had trusted the author to tell me the truth!

Who can I trust?!

I began to reflect on "reality" and "truth": my surprise at discovering that members of my own family didn't always remember events exactly as I remembered them. Was I wrong? Or were they?

Then I recalled an experiment I had read about, where a group of people were asked to witness a certain event. Later they were questioned about what they had seen. To the researchers' surprise, none of them remembered seeing exactly the same thing! (It appears that our personalities - and our expectations - determine what we think we "see.")

Then there is the element of imagination - a essential tool for all writers of fiction. From early childhood, this author had a tendency to live in an imaginative world. In the book I am reading, she explains: "During my first years... as a solitary child, the world of my imagination and the world of my daily life were not in conflict, because I had not grown up enough to see any difference between them. My real life was not in school but in my stories and my dreams. The people I lived with in books were far more real to me than my classmates..."

Was living in her imagination a habit she continued throughout her life?

But to get back to my question: If, viewing the same incident, we all see something different, how do we know what is true? If my "reality" is not the same as your "reality," it's amazing we can communicate at all! Perhaps "truth" is the synthesis of all our points of view - as we share our thoughts and feelings. (Is "reality" too great for any one of us to grasp alone?!)

No wonder we misunderstand each other so often!

What all this has shown me - I think - is that, yes - denial exists. But so does imagination. We don't all view events in the same way, but are enriched by hearing other points of view. This means we won't always see eye to eye. (And, yes, at times we may feel misrepresented and misunderstood.)

And what about these "journals"... these books I enjoy reading? How do I - as a reader - respond to the criticism that they misrepresent the truth of what really happened?

After a lot of thought, I have concluded that, although I feel cheated, I am still grateful that the author chose to share some important threads of her life - even though, to those closest to her, the supposedly autobiographical journals misrepresented the truth.

But I am grateful for the fragments she did share. My life is richer for reading the wonderful stories.

Do I Need Another Writers' Conference?

One of the events I attend from time to time is a two-day Christian Writers' Conference - held in Guelph, Ontario - southwest of Toronto. I do it to learn from editors and seasoned writers, to challenge myself in my writing goals - in short, to infuse new life into this part of my life.

It is interesting to mingle with others who share a writing dream - whatever that means to us individually. Many - like me - feel it is a calling:

Writing chose me - I didn't choose it...

I am still struggling with what to write and how to write meaningful reflections and stories that will help others and bring them joy.

The writers I would most like to emulate are James Harriott, the British veterinarian, who started to write late in life - and whose stories are infused with humor and wisdom, as he opens up the world of country animals - and their owners.

I have also enjoyed Madeleine L'Engle's intimate Crosswicks Journals (accounts of her life). I admire her because her Christian faith is part of who she is - as she goes about her daily life, interacting with her friends and family (mother, children, grandchildren, husband - an actor), in New York City and their country home.

A third writer I admire is Catherine Marshall, who mentored me in my 20s and 30s - through her books on prayer and her honest reflections on faith struggles.

As I look at the program for this year's writers' conference, I am intrigued by a blogger who will be teaching one class. Farm wife, mother of six (who homeschools her children), she write a blog that has over a thousand followers. (How does she do it all?!)

Do I need fresh inspiration? Or should I simply pull out old notes to refresh my memory?

How have I progressed since the last conference I attended two years ago? Where do I hope to go with my writing now?

These are all questions I'll have to answer before I decide...