St. Benedict was very hard on grumblers. In his rule for community living, he wrote:
First and foremost, there must be no word or sign of the evil of grumbling, no manifestation of it for any reason at all.
I think I know why: Complaining can bring us down. We begin feeling sorry for ourselves... and nothing improves! Morale definitely takes a nosedive. (Though - paradoxically - it's sometimes good to share!)
Appreciation, on the other hand, encourages and strengthens us! I remember learning that lesson when my daughter was two or three and going through the frustrating stage of not wanting to go to bed. Bedtime would come. We would go through our whole bedtime routine: I would read her a story and tuck her in. Then - the moment I would be looking for - a few minutes of peace and quiet to put my feet up and relax. Just as I would sit down, there she would be, standing at the door: I need a drink of water. I can't sleep.
And the whole bedtime routine would have to begin again! After four or five reruns of this scenario, I would be at the end of my rope!
Fortunately, I had a neighbor with a daughter the same age. When I mentioned how frustrating bedtimes had become, she replied: Yes, sometimes when my daughter finally falls asleep, I'm so tired and angry that I have to sit down and force myself to think about all her good qualities - so that I don't go to bed mad at her - and wake up still mad at her the next morning!
Force myself to think about the good... a powerful strategy that restores a calm sense of perspective to any trying situation.
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