There is a delicate balance between looking back and being stuck in the past - thereby missing the present! I remember the mother of a friend who wore black (in mourning) for several years after her husband died. She then switched to brown (a lesser form of mourning). When her oldest son died unexpectedly, she informed her daughter: I'll be wearing black for the rest of my life now.
Years later, I felt sad for the woman - always dressed in black, a reminder of her losses. She had so many good things in her life. Was she focusing on them as well?
Whether I wear black symbolically or not, I sometimes get stuck in the past and spend too much time (and energy) thinking about what I did or didn't do, what I have or no longer have.
For me, writing blog posts about some of life's nagging disappointments has been therapeutic for me. But eventually I have to close the book on the loss, so to speak, and move on.
I find it interesting to encounter this same message in my reading as well:
Joyce Meyer writes: "One of the great things about a relationship with God is that He always provides new beginnings. His... mercy is new every day." (The Confident Woman, p. 46)
I have also found helpful the Benedictine attitudes of consciously seeing each day as a new beginning and accepting the situations I find myself in as part of God's "curriculum" for my spiritual growth, not an oversight on God's part or a sign of His disapproval. One of life's challenges is "obeying" these situations - doing my best in them.
I recall reading that one of the desert Fathers (who lived almost 2000 years ago) was asked if it was possible to begin again every minute. He replied: Not only every minute - every second.
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