Accepting Each Other

It has taken me a long time to realize, as a parent, that my children were all born with certain innate traits that I can't change...

I always thought that, if we gave our kids piano lessons, our house would be filled with the sound of music - that they'd entertain me every Saturday morning while I relaxed in my lazy boy. But that never happened, Terry sometimes laments.

Piano playing wasn't their passion, I conclude... Just as it wasn't mine. But we gave them an opportunity to discover if it was...

In his book, Let Your Life Speak, Parker J. Palmer writes: Watching my granddaughter from her earliest days on earth, I was able... to see something that eluded me as a ... parent: my granddaughter arrived in the world as this kind of person, rather than that, or that, or that.

She did not show up as raw material to be shaped into whatever the world might want her to take. She arrived with her own gifted form...

But - I would add - there is some shaping going on. Parents, family members, teachers and friends can encourage and enjoy!

Even now, with adult children, I sometimes ask myself: Why do they like this... or that. I don't... I can fill in the blanks with many things - interests, clothing, furniture, friends...

The answer is simple: They're simply not me!