Did We Have Fun?

Regret is, in some ways, a wasted emotion. I remember my mother - in her 80s - saying how she regretted leaving my three-year-old brother with our grandmother (her mother) in another city for a few months  when my mother (a teacher), couldn't find a babysitter in our neighborhood. Every weekend we would drive the 100 miles to Grandma's home to visit him. And every Sunday evening my brother would scream as we were leaving. Once we were gone, he reportedly reverted to his normal cheerful self. But the memory of those traumatic partings haunted my mother for many years.

Well you can't change it now, a much-younger-me told her as she shook her head regretfully. Now an older-me would add: You can't change it. But sometimes you have to make peace with it. And making peace involves remembering.

In the book Wisdom Distilled From the Daily, Joan Chittister comments on her early years as a nun, saying how the daily sharing of work by all, young and old, had a profound effect on her: "It is the sight of everyone taking a turn at table-waiting... and everyone at choir practice and everyone doing dishes... and everyone setting up the dining room tables for great feast days... that most makes me realize that we are all in this together... I realize with new insight that there are basics in life more important than a business schedule... those basics are love of God and fun and companionship on the long dark roads of life..."

My thoughts linger on her words "fun and companionship on the long dark roads of life." My "dark days" have been comparatively few. But her recollection makes me wonder: Did I convey a sense of  fun and togetherness in my community - the family I live in?

I often felt tired and impatient during the years when my children were young. I regret that. But there are other memories, too: My desire to involve the children in baking. So all three were given dough to roll out so that they could create their own fancy cinnamon buns and gingerbread men whenever I baked.

The family "cafe" when the three prepared dinner, set the table, then dressed up as waiters (tea towels over their arms) to serve the meal.












Many family vacations. (I'm thankful for the family photo album that reminds me of some of the things we did!)

Life was often busy - sometimes I was grumpy and tired. But we did have times of fun!