What's in a Name?

Nicknames are always an interesting discussion topic in a multi-cultural class... Traditions vary from country to country. I remember one Chinese student telling me that she called her eldest sister "Number 1."

Really?! I asked. Is that her name? (I did know a woman named "Una" - number 1 in Latin.)

No, she has a name, but nobody in the family calls her by her name. It would be rude to do so. In the family, you call your brothers and sisters by their number. It shows more respect.

So what number are you? I asked.

Number five, she replied...

In Arabic culture, once a couple has a son, the parents' nicknames change. People begin to call them "Abu-..." and "Em-..." ("Father of..." and "Mother of..." - the blanks filled with the name of their oldest son.

The preferential treatment of sons (over daughters) reflected in this tradition annoys me (as a woman) so I refuse to call either of my boys "son" (in talking to them) though Terry does, as in: "Come here, son, and I'll show you how it's done."

Terry also likes to be called "Dad" by our children. When they reached the age when they wanted to call him by his first name, he told each one: "Only three people in the world can call me Dad. You are one of them. That's what I'd like you to call me."

It doesn't bother me if my children - or my students - call me by my first name. My students from other countries often called me "teacher." Or "Miss" (if they were Canadian). I liked being called "Miss" as it made me feel younger! When I taught in Quebec, I was "Madam" after I got married. I had previously been "Mademoiselle"!

In my own family, I am usually called "Mom" though, at times - depending on the mood of the hour - my children substitute other words, like "Mutter" (the German form of "mother"), "Ema" ("mother" in Hebrew), or more whimsically, "Mimsy" or "Munchkin." (I'm not sure where those names originated!)

I have given none of our children nicknames - though I often confuse their names, calling one by the name of another... (This has become a family joke!)

The only child I have given a nickname is my daughter, whom I sometimes call "Baby Girl." The name is a recent acquisition - she would have hated it growing up. The name came to be after I mentioned that, as much as I had no preference for sons or daughters, before they were born, I was really happy to have at least one girl.

Then I explained why... Growing up, I viewed my responsibility (as a daughter) was to keep my mother up-to-date at all times. Consequently I dished out advice on fashion faux-pas and informed her whenever I thought she was looking old-fashioned. That kind of loving honesty was something no other relationship offered, so I had hoped to have a daughter who would keep me up-to-date, too! That's why I was really glad to have at least one "baby girl"... (And somehow - probably to her chagrin - the nickname stuck!)