Called to Pray

I have prayed for almost as long as I can remember! I remember (as a child) praying for perfect vision. (I just hated wearing glasses!)

That prayer wasn't answered the way I had hoped (instantly - miraculously - the way blind men were healed when Jesus touched them.)

He told them that according to their faith, it would be done to them... And they could immediately see... I opened my eyes after praying, and my vision was still blurry!

Don't I have enough faith?! I wondered. (It's a question I pondered for years!)

Then, when I was 18, I got contact lenses. (At last, I was free from my rain-speckled, winter-fogged glasses!) And last winter (many years later) my lifelong dream for perfect vision... was fulfilled... when I had laser eye surgery! (So now I only need glasses... to read!) Was this an answer to that childhood prayer...? (I wonder.)

But I no longer wonder about having enough faith... I have faith... After all, I pray... But sometimes God has a better plan...

Over the years, I have prayed for many things, for myself and for others. Some prayers were answered almost immediately (miraculously, filling me with awe). But more often I have waited a long, long time (or so it seemed)... for a husband, for children, for peace with this person or that, for a writing life... Did the waiting help me? Did I develop patience? Or did I really appreciate it when the prayer was finally answered? (I think that is closer to the truth!)

And so the dialogue continues - as I talk to God in sometimes silent, sometimes written, sometimes audible prayer. And I feel God's nearness - which is why I know He hears. (Fortunately it doesn't depend on my inadequate faith.) And sometimes - occasionally - God replies in words.

Sometimes - when overwhelmed with a problem - I have asked others to pray for me... (These days, I usually send a quick email to Breakthrough - a prayer organization I trust.) I rely on the prayers of Breakthrough Intercessors - and praying friends - to get me through a particularly hard time...

Prayer is a thread that has run through the whole fabric of my life... Every crisis - every need (for work, for a place to live, for wisdom, for strength..), every time I recognize my own inadequacy, I simply pray... and wait.