I Want It NOW!

Strange the memories that stick with us for a lifetime, while so many others (equally trivial) are long forgotten...

One memory that has stuck with me since childhood is my mother and me walking through a department store in early spring. There on a racks of new summer clothing I caught sight of a pastel pink and blue checkered skirt with a matching pastel blue blouse... The whole outfit shouted: SPRING! And I wanted it...

Let me try it on, I begged my mother... (Meaning, I want it... now!)

My mother, who preferred to sew clothing, wanted to continue down the aisle. I refused to budge. She replied angrily: When you want something, You don't want it NOW - you want it RIGHT NOW!

I was taken aback by her words. (Perhaps because they were true...) And they have stuck with me since, probably because I haven't changed... I'm still impulsive and impatient - I hate to wait!

I have always perceived this to be a negative personality trait (albeit, one I was born with)... A "perfect" person would be patient, willing to wait...

However, when reading about the "cellarer," the person in charge of dispersing goods in a Benedictine monastery, I am struck by the fact that Benedict (in his rule) says to give people what they need without delay.

In her book, Seeking God, a commentary on Benedict's Rule, Esther de Waal refers to the demoralizing bureaucratic habit of keeping people WAITING, which is a power struggle... If people need something and they are owed something, they shouldn't be demoralized by needlessly being kept waiting...

Looking back, I don't remember why my mother was trying to put me off. I suspect she was hoping that - if she got me out of the store - I would quickly forget about the clothing...

But I persisted... and got what I wanted! In fact,  the outfit was a favorite for many years.

But now, looking back, instead of viewing the experience as a private revelation of how annoyingly impatient I can be... I add: Yes, I'm impatient - but impatience gets things done!