I recently came across the idea (attributed to the Greek Cynics) that a teacher who never annoyed anyone never did anyone any good!
This idea goes against the grain for most of us - parents, students, and teachers alike. But reflecting on what the Cynics might have meant, I think that (at best) negative/annoying/hurtful comments can cause us to puzzle over what was said - and in puzzling, (perhaps in tears) to learn.
I think of Debbie Macomber, author of the book, One Simple Act: Discovering the Power of Generosity, a book I am currently reading. When she was a child, she loved reading and writing - even though she was dyslexic and found both very difficult. She even confided to one teacher that she wanted to be a novelist... the dream was there, even in her childhood.
But at one parent-teacher conference, where she herself was present, a teacher made the comment that Debbie would never be a high academic achiever - because of her dyslexia. Debbie was devastated. Years later, in this book, commenting on the power of encouragement, she suggests that it would have been kinder and more encouraging had the teacher commented on her hard work or determination, characteristics that also impact success...
Tears were probably shed by the little girl who for years struggled with her teacher's low assessment of her ability ... And years later, she proved her teacher wrong by becoming a best-selling novelist!
(Thankfully, teachers, parents, friends aren't always right in their expectations of us!)
But in the process of dealing with the hurt, did Debbie develop a sensitivity to the power of encouragement?... A sensitivity that is part and parcel of who she is and what she writes.
Perhaps that's what the Greek Cynics were talking about: We learn from the bumps and bruises that come our way - as much, if not more, than from our successes.
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