Changing as We Grow

"Getting old sucks!" to quote Terry - who, when he says that, is probably thinking about the last time he played a "fun" game of football. Tackling an opposing player, he broke his collarbone. Unlike the two previous times he broke it (as a child), this time it took more than six months to mend. I remember him saying - "I wonder if I'll ever be pain-free again..." Eventually he was, but he never played football again!

Getting older does bring changes - things we can no longer do - or do with ease - and how tied up our self image is to what we can no longer do - determines, I think, our happiness at each stage of life.

We were recently visiting a friend in her mid-80s. She had always prided herself in her appearance. Now she hated the way she looked - she had lost weight and her clothes hung on her... Never mind that her face and hairstyle belied her age. So she stopped going out, even to go shopping and attend family gatherings. She only leaves her apartment to attend medical appointments.... She has imprisoned herself and become a recluse... because she is embarrassed by the way she looks.

But you look great, I say to her, in all honesty.
You're only trying to humor me - is her reply.

When my mother moved to a new city in her mid-80s, she knew nobody - so her goal was to talk to 5 new people every day... She introduced herself to people everywhere - in the elevator of her building, and in the halls, quickly making new friends. Now (at 90) her goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day - and the pedometer she wears to measure her steps is a conversation-piece as well!

A retired minister I know - now in his 70s - has recently gone to a small village - where a part-time priest was needed. He has begun again, doing the work he knows and loves. He has a lot to offer, even though he doesn't have the stamina of his younger years.

As I look at those aging around me (and we are all aging at exactly the same rate - minute by minute!) I see that every stage of life brings new challenges - so we need new goals to match them. In a very real sense, we need to leave the past behind and look ahead... Every day is a fresh new day, with new challenges and opportunities... not only to repeat the old, but to do and to be something new...