Awake in the night

For quite a few years now, I have had periods of extreme wakefulness in the middle of the night. I wake up after three or four hours of sleep, my mind churning, pulling up thought after thought with such clarity - I wish I could replicate it in my normal waking hours! Things I need to do, ideas and insights! It's really quite amazing... except that it's one or two in the morning... And I don't want to get up, even to write these ideas down. And if I do get up, the brilliant ideas usually evaporate into a hazy fog, and I'm left with the thought that I'm going to be really tired by noon, if I stay up now.

I'm not alone, I know. In my teaching years, one colleague who also suffered from early morning insomnia shared that her secret for making herself fall asleep amid her churning thoughts was to imagine herself driving along a favorite road in Nova Scotia. I never reach my destination, she commented. I always fall asleep before I get there.

I wish I could find a trick that worked for me - counting sheep or driving along a picturesque highway. But more often than not, I grudgingly get up and start my day - never mind that it is 3 am. Yesterday morning, for example, I had done two loads of laundry - and my ironing - by 7 am!

This morning, I woke up a little earlier than usual - 1:30 am. It was peaceful and dark. The cool night air flowing in through the window was perfect for sleep - except for a slight whiff of skunk - maybe that's what woke me up in the first place. I think he lives under our garden shed and takes nocturnal prowls, keeping other night-prowlers away with his powerful spray.

The incessant music of the night was the crickets' song - otherwise all was still.

It's a tad early to get up, I thought, lying there, enjoying the cool breeze. But by 2:30 I succumbed and got up. (I read once that one should never lie in bed sleepless for more than 20 minutes! But I really didn't want to get up!)

I made myself a cup of warm milk - that sometimes helps me sleep - and after a while went back to bed. I'll give myself half an hour, I thought - and if I don't fall asleep, I'll get up...

The next thing I knew, it was 6:30!