I Have a Hard Time with Easter

Today is Good Friday - an important day in the Christian year. It's the day after the Last Supper, which Jesus celebrated in the upper room of a home somewhere in Jerusalem. Some believe that the Last Supper took place on Mount Zion, just left of the wall-enclosed Old City in this view of Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives - just right of center in the horizon in this picture.

I have a hard time with Easter, even though (in my mind) it is the most important holy season Christians observe. (To me, Christmas is an add-on.) Good Friday, Easter Sunday - and of course, the Day of Pentecost - fifty days later - mark the three events that created Christianity.

The eve of Good Friday - with its Passover Seder - was Jesus' final meal with his main group of 12, the ones he was preparing to lead when he was gone. He knew he was going to die - he had told them so on numerous occasions - though they didn't understand what he meant, and even rebuked him for talking about it. So this was a kind of farewell meal. At the end of the meal, he served the last cup of wine (some say the cup for Elijah) and matza (unleavened bread or crackers) - and said: Do this and remember me. This act is the origin of Holy Communion, which Christians of all traditions practice.

At this same meal, Jesus also washed the feet of the 12, although they were uncomfortable with their leader humbling himself this way. This act was visual reminder of something he had told them many times: namely, that his followers are to lead by serving, even in the most menial ways.

Knowing he was going to die on the cross was a struggle for Jesus. He loved being with them, but his purpose in coming to earth was to die.

Easter is also a struggle for me. Sin and death are never pleasant topics to reflect on. Yet Easter, especially Good Friday, forces me to think about them.

It's all about sin... Some people I know don't believe in sin, but to me sin is very real. For me, sin is synonymous with evil, not just out there - but in myself as well. There is a malicious selfishness and anger that rears its ugly head from time to time within me. I see that as sin in me... anger ready to pounce, regardless of repercussions. I know it's there.

I especially feel sad that Jesus had to die - as a sacrifice, so that I wouldn't be punished for my sin. (A kind of lamb on the alter.) His death replaced mine ... That is the basis of Christianity. This idea should make me happy - and it does - but it also makes me sad... sad that it had to happen. God evidently views sin very seriously, and loves us very much... That too is part of Christian belief.

Joy comes 3 days later on Easter Sunday, after Jesus's amazed followers (who had come to embalm him with spices) discovered that his tomb was empty. Their first thought was that the body had been stolen - a final desecration. Observant Jews do not tamper with a dead body - and even today many oppose autopsies from a religious point of view. The dead, they believe, should rest in peace.

The resurrection - Jesus coming to life again - is another part of Easter that some people have a hard time believing. I don't find Jesus' resurrection hard to believe. I mean, I believe that God created the universe and everything in it. Once I believe that, nothing else (in my opinion) is hard to accept: resurrection, healing (God fixing what He made), God inspiring people close to him to write his words - nothing is impossible to a God who can create it all!

Some Christian traditions celebrate the Easter Sunday resurrection with great joy. One Russian lady I knew greeted everyone on Easter Sunday with the the joyful words: Christ is risen! Those of us unfamiliar with this Russian tradition were told to reply: He is risen indeed!

North American Christians tend to hide Easter behind rituals of another sort: Easter egg hunts and chocolate Easter bunnies, traditions that probably originated in a cultural celebration of spring.

I used to ask my multi-cultural students if they had eaten any Easter eggs. They would usually say: No, it's not part of my religion.

To which I would reply: It's not part of my Christian religion either - it's a tradition that celebrates spring.

But back to Good Friday - today. As uncomfortable as I always find meditating on Jesus suffering, death and resurrection, to avoid it, for me, is to miss the true meaning of Easter.