Sunday, January 31, 2010

Who's in Control?!

I am a creature of habit... but not the habits I want!

How else can I account for the fact that my body has - again - after 5 hours of sleep, awakened... and I am left to decide whether to toss and turn, or to get up and perhaps be productive (reading, writing... cleaning would take too much energy!)

Or why, after a perfectly good meal in a restaurant last night, I just HAD to have a chocolate dessert!

I am left to ponder how much control I really have of my life! (My body dictates so much about it...)

So do I accept it and relax?! Or fight against it?!

I have come to the conclusion (at 3 am) that I am trying to create a "cookie cutter" life for myself - where everything is the same... and, of course, everything is good! (By that I mean that I always get up at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time and I always feel good because I've had just the right amount of sleep... And I always eat a healthy meal with just the right number of calories!)

Maybe my body knows that life is more complex. Maybe my "rebel" body knows that on a cold day like today (and it has been very cold all week) - it is actually GOOD to have the chocolate and extra calories!

Or maybe - at 3:30 am - I should just go back to bed and rethink this all in the morning!

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