Last Sunday

A week ago today, my 97-year-old mother died. It came as a surprise to us all - she was so strong to the end. There had been a few signs: When I visited her on Tuesday, all she wanted was to lie down. That was uncharacteristic of her, but then - it's flu season. People sometimes get sick. Was she coming down with something? Or was this a new stage of life - lying down more?

She fooled us all, the staff at the nursing home told me later. One day she'd be a little weak - and the next day she'd rebound to her old self. On Friday she even attended exercise class...!

On Saturday evening, when I went to see her, her face was flushed and she had a low grade fever. They had fed her her supper in bed. I don't remember that ever happening before. The plan was to have some lab tests done and see if she had an infection.

I got a phone call at 5:30 the next morning. She had just been taken to the hospital by ambulance with low blood pressure, a swollen abdomen and a racing heartbeat. Terry and I headed over.

By the time we arrived, she'd had a CAT scan and bloodwork. Results showed that there was a blockage in her colon which had become infected. Other organs were being affected. To counter this, they were administering a strong dose of antibiotics intervenesly.

Over the course of the day, we kept our eyes on the monitors above her bed and saw that her blood pressure (which was very low when we arrived) rose to normal, then to above normal. Then it dropped again. Her heart rate continued to increase. It's as if she's running a marathon, one doctor told us. How long can she keep that up?

Further lab tests were run. At four o'clock, the doctor in charge of the medical team called me out of the room to tell me that my mother was not responding to treatment. Her most recent bloodwork indicated that, in the 10 hours she had received antibiotics, her condition had deteriorated. She then recommended that we disconnect all monitors and intervenes medication and focus on making her comfortable. I agreed: I didn't want her to suffer. Four hours later, my mother died.

Looking back on last Sunday, I am very thankful for so many things!

Thankful that it was Sunday, so my son who works Mondays to Fridays was able to be at the hospital with us, as was my cousin Rhonda, who has no classes on the weekend. My mother was surrounded by family all day. Thankful that she was coherent enough to briefly talk to my brother and his two sons in Dallas by phone.

Thankful that she received such excellent care from amazing, compassionate staff - both in the nursing home and in the hospital. Thankful also that a close friend who is an ER nurse in this hospital was working that day and dropped in to check on us from time to time. Thankful that my mother was not sick for long.

Thankful that my mother had such a full life for 97 years - good health, work that she loved, travel, good friends and strong family ties. Thankful that she continued to be active, even when she could no longer walk or see. Thankful that she took life as it came and tried to make the best of it.

I can only hope to do the same...